On The Pretexts of Nature

it’s a struggle against our nature

that makes us so tired

but unable to sleep

on the long summer nights.

“give me rest! give me peace!”


I cry relentlessly
at the image in the mirror

that somehow cannot be me.

be kind, the image tells me,

for I am all you have

so strike me all you want

but I won’t change until you do.

momma sighs
because sometimes
I sleep too late
and love too much
and shout too loud,
but the universe
is so big
that I’m afraid
my voice is but a whisper
and my hands
but molecules
in a dying organism

The warm creator beats down around.

Encompass me, Warm Reality,

I ask you to feel my boundaries,

To feel me and understand me, is that so much to ask?

One sweet moment of escape from being.

The reflections shine from mirrored walls,

Yet I am no reflection, I am projection;

An insurrection pulsing in your veins.

Do you feel me yet or should I come closer?

The particles in the air can uncover deep secrets,

The songs that the Earth whispers in ears of passers-by.

Listen to me Earth, why don’t you listen?

Why will no one listen?

These songs are written on my legs and arms.

I try to sing them but the noise is but a shadow,

I outline the voice of others, the undertone:

The words never heard by ears or earth or sun or air.

Why won’t they listen? Why can’t you see?

You are all but shadows, I am the light,

The light shines in the darkness but is not understood.

The light declares the darkness, I am declared.

I am apart from and of you, and of you I shall remain.

You cannot see me but I’m there, I listen to your words.

Filthy lies that He despises, yet I have ne’er lied:

My words, but a shadow, deceive but I.

And as they are heard, repeated, and sang,

I am but a shadow and a shadow I remain.